TEDx Talk: The Flight Back to the Face

WEBVTT 1 00:00:05.140 --> 00:00:11.910 shared beliefs, shared values, common purpose, a specific point of view about 2 00:00:11.910 --> 00:00:16.960 the world, or a problem or an opportunity within the world. These are 3 00:00:16.960 --> 00:00:22.440 foundational to an excellent employee experience and to an excellent customer 4 00:00:22.440 --> 00:00:27.460 experience. They bring us together, they bind us together, and there are so 5 00:00:27.460 --> 00:00:32.990 many ways to express this P O. V or point of view. One way I was able to do 6 00:00:32.990 --> 00:00:37.530 that was through a TX presentation. I enjoyed the privilege a few years back 7 00:00:37.540 --> 00:00:43.290 of presenting at the inaugural TX U. C. C s. That's the University of Colorado, 8 00:00:43.290 --> 00:00:48.510 Colorado Springs. It's the local campus of the C. U system in Colorado Springs, 9 00:00:48.510 --> 00:00:53.490 where Bom Bom is headquartered. Where I live with my wife and son and you, CCS 10 00:00:53.490 --> 00:00:58.320 is also where I earned my MBA. This talk gathered a lot of the work that I 11 00:00:58.320 --> 00:01:02.480 had done in the years leading up to it, and it was incredibly helpful to the 12 00:01:02.480 --> 00:01:06.510 start of Re Humanize your business, a book that I co authored with my long 13 00:01:06.510 --> 00:01:10.120 time friend and team member Steve Personally. If you're a regular 14 00:01:10.120 --> 00:01:13.940 listener to the customer Experience podcast and the C X series on B two B 15 00:01:13.940 --> 00:01:17.770 growth. You know, we're pretty pro human, and many of the conversations 16 00:01:17.770 --> 00:01:23.850 are human centered, and this Ted X talk is no different. I hope you enjoy it. 17 00:01:24.240 --> 00:01:32.090 Now we have Ethan Butte. Things got his own transport as well is the VP of 18 00:01:32.090 --> 00:01:35.910 content and communications. That bomb bomb has a background in and passion 19 00:01:35.920 --> 00:01:40.220 for grand strategy content of communications. For 14 years, he 20 00:01:40.220 --> 00:01:43.740 directed the marketing efforts for local broadcast television stations and 21 00:01:43.740 --> 00:01:49.460 websites in Chicago, Grand Rapids and Colorado Springs. With Bom Bom, he 22 00:01:49.460 --> 00:01:53.260 helps people use simple videos to communicate more effectively to go 23 00:01:53.270 --> 00:01:56.540 relationships and to grow their businesses. Here's a B A from the 24 00:01:56.540 --> 00:02:00.530 University of Michigan, M B A from the University of Colorado, Colorado 25 00:02:00.530 --> 00:02:04.910 Springs. He's a happy husband and father. Please welcome Ethan. 26 00:02:14.040 --> 00:02:18.740 So this is an absolute privilege to share this room in this evening with 27 00:02:18.740 --> 00:02:22.230 all of you. I'm gonna start with a few questions, and I really need you. Just 28 00:02:22.240 --> 00:02:25.570 shout out your answer. When you have that, I need to be able to hear you. 29 00:02:25.580 --> 00:02:29.040 And don't worry, your neighbor is not going to judge you about it. First 30 00:02:29.040 --> 00:02:33.200 question. It's about connection and communication in terms of connecting 31 00:02:33.200 --> 00:02:37.770 and communicating with other people. Are you better in a typed out text 32 00:02:37.770 --> 00:02:42.860 email or are you better on the phone phone immediately? We all know we're 33 00:02:42.860 --> 00:02:45.870 better on the phone. You have a lot more give and take a better feedback 34 00:02:45.870 --> 00:02:49.470 loop. We've got our voice tone pays personality. Just a lot more 35 00:02:49.470 --> 00:02:52.710 information to work with its better piece of communication now. Similar 36 00:02:52.710 --> 00:02:57.560 question. Different choices. Are you better on the phone or are you better 37 00:02:57.640 --> 00:03:02.750 in person in person? We're all better in person because that feedback loop is 38 00:03:02.750 --> 00:03:06.450 now taken up another level. We have all the vocal elements, but we also have 39 00:03:06.460 --> 00:03:11.540 face posture, body language, all this rich, nonverbal communication that our 40 00:03:11.540 --> 00:03:15.770 brains are wired to receive from one another or fellow human beings or 41 00:03:15.770 --> 00:03:19.360 social creatures or veteran person. We know it right away because you answered 42 00:03:19.360 --> 00:03:23.480 immediately. Now think about your own personal and professional success in 43 00:03:23.480 --> 00:03:27.760 your own life. Satisfaction right, flourishing, your own personal human 44 00:03:27.760 --> 00:03:30.280 flourishing personally and professionally. Are you getting 45 00:03:30.280 --> 00:03:36.210 together with people as often as you need or want to in person? No, 46 00:03:36.210 --> 00:03:40.450 absolutely not. Not even close. So few of us are not a lot of reasons. A lot 47 00:03:40.450 --> 00:03:45.300 of excuses. I think it comes down to two main things. Time and distance, 48 00:03:45.310 --> 00:03:50.860 time and distance conspired to keep us apart. But we need to get together in 49 00:03:50.860 --> 00:03:54.030 person because that's how we connect and communicate most effectively, build 50 00:03:54.030 --> 00:03:57.140 relationships and flourishes individuals so that we're gonna be 51 00:03:57.140 --> 00:04:01.820 talking about here, why we need to get face to face and how to overcome time 52 00:04:01.820 --> 00:04:05.690 and distance as things that keep us apart. Now some of what I want to share 53 00:04:05.690 --> 00:04:08.880 with you tonight is informed and inspired by a really great opinion 54 00:04:08.880 --> 00:04:13.810 piece. I read The New York Times last February, and in it the writer Stephen 55 00:04:13.810 --> 00:04:18.060 March talked about just gross abuses of other human beings that occur as a 56 00:04:18.060 --> 00:04:22.260 consequence of not having to face them of not having to look them in the eye 57 00:04:22.270 --> 00:04:26.450 talked hiding behind that cloak of digital anonymity. I'm talking about 58 00:04:26.450 --> 00:04:30.830 cyberbullying, Internet trolling, flame wars and comments, threats and all of 59 00:04:30.830 --> 00:04:34.620 that same things and doing things that you would never say if I had to look 60 00:04:34.620 --> 00:04:37.450 you in the eye. I've never say that to you in person, but if I can hide that 61 00:04:37.450 --> 00:04:40.480 way I might do those things, and I'm gonna take in a different direction 62 00:04:40.480 --> 00:04:43.660 than that. But I am going to start with my favorite line from his piece, which 63 00:04:43.660 --> 00:04:50.110 is this as a communication and exchange come at a remove. The flight back to 64 00:04:50.110 --> 00:04:55.760 the face takes on a new urgency as communication and exchange come at a 65 00:04:55.770 --> 00:04:59.870 remove. Think about all those messages you're sending all day long. Every time 66 00:04:59.870 --> 00:05:03.470 you click. Send these are some of your most important message is your most 67 00:05:03.470 --> 00:05:06.730 valuable messages. In a lot of cases, you have a lot riding on the outcomes 68 00:05:06.730 --> 00:05:11.200 of these messages being effective. And yet you continue to entrust those two 69 00:05:11.200 --> 00:05:16.800 forms of communication short on personality and short on clarity. I'm 70 00:05:16.800 --> 00:05:20.770 talking about all your type out emails, your text messages. Even so, much of 71 00:05:20.770 --> 00:05:24.390 our social media is all faceless digital communication. It's the same 72 00:05:24.390 --> 00:05:27.810 black text on the same white spring with a little emoticon punched in. 73 00:05:27.810 --> 00:05:32.330 Sometimes why do we do that? To make it more clear what we meant. Is he serious, 74 00:05:32.330 --> 00:05:36.170 or is he joking, right? We need to add some clarity. We do it sometimes to add 75 00:05:36.170 --> 00:05:39.060 a little personality or a little bit of fun. Frankly, we use it as an 76 00:05:39.420 --> 00:05:43.340 substitute for the absent human face. And of course, it has not always been 77 00:05:43.340 --> 00:05:47.160 this way. Human beings have been speaking to one another. We've had 78 00:05:47.160 --> 00:05:52.390 spoken communication as a species with one another for 150,000 years. I've 79 00:05:52.390 --> 00:05:56.090 seen estimates that are much higher, but conservative decision maker. So I'm 80 00:05:56.090 --> 00:06:00.070 gonna go with 150,000 years. And of course, if you think about it almost 81 00:06:00.070 --> 00:06:04.380 that entire time, it's been exclusively face to face. It's only been in the 82 00:06:04.390 --> 00:06:08.660 past few generations that we've been able to transmit our voices and 83 00:06:08.660 --> 00:06:11.960 transmit our faces through technology, and certainly only in the last couple 84 00:06:11.960 --> 00:06:16.400 of decades that we've been able to rely on some of the space faceless digital 85 00:06:16.400 --> 00:06:21.430 communication. Meanwhile, that's 150,000 years. Meanwhile, how long have 86 00:06:21.430 --> 00:06:22.650 we been writing? 87 00:06:24.440 --> 00:06:28.930 5000 years, 1/30 of the amount of time. If this is all the time, we've been 88 00:06:28.930 --> 00:06:32.970 speaking to one another almost exclusively face to face. This is how 89 00:06:32.970 --> 00:06:38.250 long we've been writing so 3% of the time, it's not as natural to us. It's 90 00:06:38.250 --> 00:06:42.460 not as fundamentally human, and frankly, most of us aren't period to add it. 91 00:06:42.840 --> 00:06:46.380 Alright, we're not. It's a difficult feel. The master takes a lot of time 92 00:06:46.380 --> 00:06:49.310 and effort energy and some of you in the room are probably very good writers. 93 00:06:49.310 --> 00:06:54.280 But most of us, on average, are not. And so what we're left with is messages 94 00:06:54.280 --> 00:06:59.420 that leave us sometimes misled and misunderstood. And we can do better 95 00:06:59.420 --> 00:07:03.920 than that. Speaking of misunderstanding, have you ever heard or read? 93% of 96 00:07:03.920 --> 00:07:09.680 your communication is nonverbal or in terms of the words that you use, they 97 00:07:09.680 --> 00:07:14.930 only add 7% of the meaning to your communication. Some of you have it. So 98 00:07:14.940 --> 00:07:19.600 that's a common misinterpretation of the work of U. C L. A psychologist, 99 00:07:19.600 --> 00:07:24.940 Albert Arabian, who published UH several decades ago the 7 38 55 rule of 100 00:07:24.940 --> 00:07:30.600 communication. And he wasn't trying to, uh, to do what people often try to say 101 00:07:30.600 --> 00:07:35.170 that has worked in you simply trying to quantify the positive emotional affect 102 00:07:35.180 --> 00:07:41.130 of our words, our voices and our faces. 7 38 55. That's where the 93 comes from, 103 00:07:41.140 --> 00:07:44.450 and even when it's taken for exactly what it's intended. Their number of 104 00:07:44.450 --> 00:07:49.360 flaws with the work, Um, but the one positive attribute of it is that people 105 00:07:49.360 --> 00:07:54.360 continue to use it, even if they misuse it. And the reason I don't mind it is 106 00:07:54.360 --> 00:08:00.010 that it keeps top of mind something really important, which is how we say 107 00:08:00.010 --> 00:08:05.970 something has a significant impact on how effective the communication is, how 108 00:08:05.970 --> 00:08:09.260 we say something with our voices and how we say something with our faces 109 00:08:09.340 --> 00:08:13.540 contribute to a massive amount of value. Whether or not it's 93 doesn't matter. 110 00:08:13.550 --> 00:08:18.550 It adds a massive amount of value to whether our message is understood or 111 00:08:18.550 --> 00:08:22.770 whether our messages liked whether it produces the outcome that we hope for 112 00:08:22.780 --> 00:08:27.020 right. And so I don't know that the 93 is really all that far off. In fact, 113 00:08:27.020 --> 00:08:32.309 the face has a language. All of its own human facial expression of emotion is 114 00:08:32.309 --> 00:08:36.570 both universal, and it's an eight. It's universal. There's a really rich body 115 00:08:36.570 --> 00:08:40.230 of research here around, uh, facial expression of emotion. We're talking, 116 00:08:40.230 --> 00:08:44.110 of course, about different researchers at different institutions in different 117 00:08:44.110 --> 00:08:47.020 universities, on different continents, in different countries and different 118 00:08:47.020 --> 00:08:51.940 cities, different cultures, different decades. These studies span obviously 119 00:08:51.940 --> 00:08:55.240 involves different participants, different methodologies. And despite 120 00:08:55.250 --> 00:08:59.650 all these differences, this body of research points very often to one 121 00:08:59.660 --> 00:09:05.140 conclusion, which is seven human emotions express the exact same way 122 00:09:05.150 --> 00:09:09.540 through our faces, across societies, across culture. Across time, we all do 123 00:09:09.540 --> 00:09:12.440 it the same way, and that's my son. And some of those expressions are 124 00:09:12.440 --> 00:09:18.770 nonstandard. So it's not just our ability to express these emotions 125 00:09:18.770 --> 00:09:22.430 through our faces, right to write these emotions to our faces. Also, of course, 126 00:09:22.430 --> 00:09:25.520 our ability to read them and to recognize them on other people and to 127 00:09:25.520 --> 00:09:29.430 understand them. And we do it automatically and instantly without 128 00:09:29.430 --> 00:09:32.420 ever thinking about it. It's again. It's a language all its own. So it's 129 00:09:32.420 --> 00:09:36.330 universal instant. It's innate to us. We can all do it from infancy, and it 130 00:09:36.330 --> 00:09:40.650 has not learned behavior. One of the studies that I looked at had blind and 131 00:09:40.650 --> 00:09:44.690 sighted people, and they looked at the way they were expressing emotions 132 00:09:44.690 --> 00:09:47.650 through their faces. And from a statistical standpoint, it's identical. 133 00:09:47.660 --> 00:09:52.700 So it's not a cease a mimic everything. Our faces have their own language and 134 00:09:52.700 --> 00:09:57.140 its innate to the human experience, and of course, the eyes have a massive 135 00:09:57.140 --> 00:10:01.800 amount of contribution to at facial language that we have one place where 136 00:10:01.800 --> 00:10:05.900 French phenomenology and contemporary neuroscience agreed, and there are not 137 00:10:05.900 --> 00:10:13.060 very many is hero, and awareness of the self is preceded by recognition of the 138 00:10:13.060 --> 00:10:18.970 other. That's to say, I know myself as a human being only after and only 139 00:10:18.970 --> 00:10:23.440 through the process of looking you in the eye and recognizing you first as a 140 00:10:23.440 --> 00:10:29.110 human being. And in that moment of sheer humanity and connection, there's 141 00:10:29.110 --> 00:10:33.890 kinship, Bill, right? And of course, kinship is the spark of empathy, the 142 00:10:33.890 --> 00:10:38.770 moral impulse, ethical impulse. One of my very favorite podcast is on being 143 00:10:38.770 --> 00:10:42.670 with Krista Tippett. And she had a conversation with US Congressman John 144 00:10:42.670 --> 00:10:48.800 Lewis from Georgia, who is also a civil rights leader. And he was explaining 145 00:10:48.810 --> 00:10:53.280 one of the key teachings of young men and women as they were preparing to go 146 00:10:53.280 --> 00:10:57.330 out for nonviolent protest during the civil rights era. And this teaching was 147 00:10:57.330 --> 00:11:03.340 to maintain eye contact and smile, no matter what. Verbal assault, physical 148 00:11:03.340 --> 00:11:08.390 assault someone spits upon, you try to maintain eye contact and smile to that 149 00:11:08.390 --> 00:11:14.260 person. Why? To create that moment of human connection through the eyes to 150 00:11:14.260 --> 00:11:18.960 hopefully say to that person. You may be doing whatever you're doing to me, 151 00:11:18.960 --> 00:11:23.360 but I am a human being and hopefully create that moment of empathy and 152 00:11:23.360 --> 00:11:27.530 defuse the situation. Naturally. If the face and the eyes are tied to, uh, 153 00:11:27.540 --> 00:11:31.820 empathy and ethics, it's also tied to justice. That's the the confrontation 154 00:11:31.820 --> 00:11:35.930 clause in the Sixth Amendment of the United States Constitution, which of 155 00:11:35.930 --> 00:11:39.810 course, takes root 2000 years earlier in Roman courts, where no case would 156 00:11:39.810 --> 00:11:46.120 advance for consideration prior to the victim and the accused meeting face to 157 00:11:46.120 --> 00:11:51.580 face. So you knew it intuitively, you said it emphatically. I invest in 158 00:11:51.580 --> 00:11:55.780 person. I'm not getting in person often enough, and we need to overcome this. 159 00:11:55.780 --> 00:11:58.710 We need to make that right back to the face. We need to make this a commitment 160 00:11:58.710 --> 00:12:02.390 in our lives, because through this we connect and communicate most 161 00:12:02.390 --> 00:12:06.770 effectively. We build relationships more effectively and relationships. I 162 00:12:06.770 --> 00:12:11.490 think I know I feel it. I think you feel it too. Relationships are where 163 00:12:11.490 --> 00:12:15.250 all of our success comes from. Our personal and professional success and 164 00:12:15.250 --> 00:12:19.240 life satisfaction come through directly and indirectly our respond. Our 165 00:12:19.240 --> 00:12:22.690 relationships with other people. And so the first way I propose that we 166 00:12:22.700 --> 00:12:26.690 overcome time and distance, which are the things that he was an art is sheer 167 00:12:26.690 --> 00:12:31.750 force of will. Simply get it done right. It's time prioritizing other things 168 00:12:31.750 --> 00:12:35.620 over it. Take Tuesday afternoon, canceled the appointments and go see 169 00:12:35.620 --> 00:12:39.860 him or go visit her or go out and connect with them. Just get it done. 170 00:12:40.640 --> 00:12:43.920 They set up as a priority. We can do this. We have control over our own 171 00:12:43.920 --> 00:12:46.770 lives. You might have to make some sacrifices when you do that, but I 172 00:12:46.770 --> 00:12:50.820 promise you won't be sorry if you do. One of the very best things I've ever 173 00:12:50.820 --> 00:12:54.710 read on the Internet was written by Kerry Egan, and at the time she was a 174 00:12:54.710 --> 00:12:58.170 Harvard divinity student. She was also a student chaplain and a hospice 175 00:12:58.170 --> 00:13:01.940 program. Of course, it's a consequence of network. She spoke with a lot of 176 00:13:01.950 --> 00:13:05.870 people as they prepared to die, and she, of course, did a lot of listening to 177 00:13:05.880 --> 00:13:11.400 people in these moments, when they're reflecting and reaching for meaning and 178 00:13:11.400 --> 00:13:14.610 purpose and trying to, you know, put together all these things that they've 179 00:13:14.610 --> 00:13:19.010 experienced, and so she wrote about what we talk about as we prepare to die, 180 00:13:19.010 --> 00:13:24.930 and it's pretty much exactly what you think. It's not about the money or how 181 00:13:24.930 --> 00:13:28.070 many widgets we sold in our career. It's about who we sold those widgets to 182 00:13:28.070 --> 00:13:32.490 and we sold those widgets with. It's not about the house or the fancy car we 183 00:13:32.490 --> 00:13:35.580 talked about was along for the ride and who was waiting for us at the 184 00:13:35.580 --> 00:13:40.020 destination. We don't even talk about our religion or it's deity or its 185 00:13:40.020 --> 00:13:44.820 tenants. We talk about. We practiced that religion with and through whom the 186 00:13:44.820 --> 00:13:50.220 deity and its tenants became manifest. We talk about people. We talk about 187 00:13:50.220 --> 00:13:53.140 relationships. We talked about family. We talk about kinship. We talked about 188 00:13:53.140 --> 00:13:56.670 a lot of these are the things that matter, and you know this, as I say, 189 00:13:56.670 --> 00:14:00.640 you know that it's true. We all know it intuitively, and so I promise that if 190 00:14:00.640 --> 00:14:04.070 you make that commitment to get face to face with people, you won't regret it. 191 00:14:04.070 --> 00:14:07.830 No matter what, you have to cancel unless it's other people don't do that, 192 00:14:07.840 --> 00:14:12.470 okay? And even with your best intentions, right, you're all motivated 193 00:14:12.470 --> 00:14:15.870 now and it's like I think I'm gonna go. I'm gonna get that done right. You're 194 00:14:15.870 --> 00:14:19.250 still gonna come up short. You're gonna come up short because the other thing 195 00:14:19.250 --> 00:14:23.130 is getting away or this is the positive side of that. You're going to do it and 196 00:14:23.130 --> 00:14:26.450 it's going to be so intrinsically valuable to you. And it's going to 197 00:14:26.450 --> 00:14:29.350 reward you so much that you're gonna want even more, and you're gonna come 198 00:14:29.350 --> 00:14:33.220 up short in that way. And so in those cases, I encourage you to be there in 199 00:14:33.220 --> 00:14:38.280 person when you can't be there in person, through video. And when I say 200 00:14:38.280 --> 00:14:42.040 video, I'm not talking about scripted videos and edited videos and produced 201 00:14:42.040 --> 00:14:45.460 videos or any of that. I'm talking about simple face to face communication. 202 00:14:46.440 --> 00:14:50.000 I'm talking about relationships through video, and you already have what you 203 00:14:50.000 --> 00:14:55.360 need to get started. It's that webcam that's built into your laptop by it's 204 00:14:55.360 --> 00:14:59.160 already in there, or it's in your monitor. Or you can plug it into the 205 00:14:59.160 --> 00:15:02.350 side of your computer by USB, and it's very inexpensive and easy to do in a 206 00:15:02.350 --> 00:15:05.900 sufficient quality. Is that little dot that's in your laptop. It's a camera. 207 00:15:05.900 --> 00:15:10.950 You should use it right guard set phone you've got right now in your purse or 208 00:15:10.950 --> 00:15:15.380 your pocket. What does that phone have? What's one of its key features? A 209 00:15:15.380 --> 00:15:19.010 camera, of course. And every time you get a new phone, what does it have in 210 00:15:19.010 --> 00:15:25.740 it? A better camera. Why do they do that? She's use it right? So you feel 211 00:15:25.740 --> 00:15:28.520 better about how you look when you're sharing photos and videos of yourself 212 00:15:28.520 --> 00:15:31.630 and other people that matter to you in your life. So you have the equipment 213 00:15:31.630 --> 00:15:34.750 that you need to get started. And just as cameras are a key point of 214 00:15:34.750 --> 00:15:38.390 conference competition for the smartphone manufacturers, so to our 215 00:15:38.400 --> 00:15:43.470 video features for the social networks Facebook, Twitter, instagram, Snapchat, 216 00:15:43.480 --> 00:15:47.500 all rolling out video features, always upgrading the video features. Right now 217 00:15:47.500 --> 00:15:51.760 it's all about live video. They want you sharing live video with other 218 00:15:51.760 --> 00:15:55.690 people in your world and your personal network and your family noise sharing, 219 00:15:55.690 --> 00:15:59.370 live video. And, of course, live video is what you long had available. 220 00:15:59.500 --> 00:16:04.010 Microsoft gives you Skype. Google gives you hang out. Apple gives you face time. 221 00:16:04.010 --> 00:16:07.950 These are free tools. And guess what? It's connected to the device that's 222 00:16:07.950 --> 00:16:11.010 connected to the Internet net that can get you face to face with anyone, 223 00:16:11.020 --> 00:16:15.620 anywhere, anytime, as long as you and one or more other people have a device 224 00:16:15.620 --> 00:16:18.780 and the Internet connection, we have the free software you can get face to 225 00:16:18.780 --> 00:16:24.120 face with anyone in the world anytime. And in that way we completely eliminate 226 00:16:24.740 --> 00:16:29.580 distance, right, so distance is no longer an issue. But we still have time. 227 00:16:29.580 --> 00:16:32.780 Thank you, Skype it to now. I'm not available till four. Sorry, I can't 228 00:16:32.780 --> 00:16:35.760 before. How about next Tuesday? Right. We've all done that dance, so time 229 00:16:35.760 --> 00:16:38.740 continues to be an issue. In that scenario, I encourage you to think 230 00:16:38.740 --> 00:16:42.250 about recording and sending simple videos, and that's what we do it along. 231 00:16:42.250 --> 00:16:45.330 Where? Software company in downtown Colorado Springs. To make it really 232 00:16:45.340 --> 00:16:50.730 easy to record and send simple video messages, typically an email just to 233 00:16:50.730 --> 00:16:55.360 help get you face to face with more people more often. And there's an a 234 00:16:55.360 --> 00:16:59.340 synchronicity there I recorded. When it's convenient for me, I send it up to 235 00:16:59.340 --> 00:17:03.220 four people and she opens it immediately. He opens it five minutes 236 00:17:03.220 --> 00:17:07.589 later. He opens up five hours later, and that guy in the back five days. 237 00:17:07.599 --> 00:17:12.599 What is he doing? The navigation. So there's an a synchronicity there, so 238 00:17:12.599 --> 00:17:15.869 time and distance, then, are not the same issue. But when each one of those 239 00:17:15.869 --> 00:17:20.839 people opens that message up, the experience me in person, it's like I'm 240 00:17:20.839 --> 00:17:23.829 there with them. I hear it all the time. Every relationships will have our 241 00:17:23.829 --> 00:17:28.040 customers, and one of the things that they describe very frequently to me is 242 00:17:28.040 --> 00:17:31.420 a phenomenon called prep iniquity. Now they don't use the word for pink we 243 00:17:31.420 --> 00:17:35.270 when they describe it, they all used to throw out words. But for equity is a 244 00:17:35.280 --> 00:17:40.630 psychological proximity built through frequency and familiarity of exposure. 245 00:17:41.340 --> 00:17:46.660 So people feel psychologically proximate to you when you get face to 246 00:17:46.660 --> 00:17:51.440 face with them. More often. It's a nearness, and it's again independent, 247 00:17:51.440 --> 00:17:55.780 completely a physical proximity. I can feel connected to you. I can feel 248 00:17:55.780 --> 00:18:00.460 closer to you as a consequence of experiencing experiencing you in person 249 00:18:00.460 --> 00:18:04.490 more often. We had a research project in the field with a team from Harvard 250 00:18:04.490 --> 00:18:09.750 Business School last month, and as the lead researcher was preparing the study, 251 00:18:09.750 --> 00:18:12.870 trying to figure out what he wanted to do with video email versus text and 252 00:18:12.870 --> 00:18:16.370 email. What do you want to get at, uh, a gentleman named Andrew Brodsky, A 253 00:18:16.380 --> 00:18:21.070 doctoral candidate there at Harvard. Um, he thought would be really helpful in 254 00:18:21.080 --> 00:18:24.190 designing the study and choosing the instruments and the methodology and all 255 00:18:24.190 --> 00:18:26.640 that to speak with. Some of our customers first started rounding up a 256 00:18:26.640 --> 00:18:29.860 couple dozen names and numbers of people that they'd be happy to talk 257 00:18:29.860 --> 00:18:32.650 with him and he had some of those conversations. And then we got back 258 00:18:32.650 --> 00:18:36.340 together and I said, Andrew, what have you learned? And he showed a number of 259 00:18:36.340 --> 00:18:39.310 things with me. But there were two key things that so that one was prepping 260 00:18:39.310 --> 00:18:42.230 equity piece, which didn't surprise either one of us. We expected to hear. 261 00:18:42.230 --> 00:18:46.690 I kind of seated that with him. I said something. I hear a lot something else 262 00:18:46.690 --> 00:18:50.220 so that he heard that I had not heard that to me was very interesting. And in 263 00:18:50.220 --> 00:18:56.270 a way very beautiful was that it's not just the recipient that feels closer to 264 00:18:56.270 --> 00:19:00.880 the center. It's also the center feeling closer to the recipient, he 265 00:19:00.880 --> 00:19:06.150 said a number of people told him I feel closer to my past clients or to my 266 00:19:06.150 --> 00:19:10.340 friends when I reach out to them in this more personal way, it's really 267 00:19:10.340 --> 00:19:14.690 interesting to me. I hadn't thought about it, I guess when I reflected, I 268 00:19:14.700 --> 00:19:18.090 may be an experienced the same thing, but to have him here from a number of 269 00:19:18.100 --> 00:19:23.570 people made me think about the process of looking the camera and the lens and 270 00:19:23.570 --> 00:19:28.320 talking to you trying to convey in the empathy I have for your situation, 271 00:19:28.320 --> 00:19:31.070 offer you any value, whatever it is that I'm reaching out to you out 272 00:19:31.070 --> 00:19:35.100 through that communication. The process of looking in that lens, conjuring you 273 00:19:35.100 --> 00:19:39.570 in my mind and speaking to you as it if I'm there with you in person, has a 274 00:19:39.570 --> 00:19:42.960 significant impact on me as well. I feel closer to the people that I'm 275 00:19:42.960 --> 00:19:46.840 working with and people that I want to work with, people that are family with 276 00:19:46.840 --> 00:19:50.620 and people that I'm friends with. I feel closer to you as a consequence of 277 00:19:50.620 --> 00:19:53.200 that practice as well. It's a really interesting thing that made me think 278 00:19:53.200 --> 00:19:57.670 about what we're normalizing every single day. What's normal in your 279 00:19:57.670 --> 00:20:01.200 communication patterns, what's appropriate, what standards are you 280 00:20:01.200 --> 00:20:04.880 setting? What expectations are you setting of yourself and of other people 281 00:20:05.100 --> 00:20:09.260 that are they sufficiently human? Are they sufficiently full of personality 282 00:20:09.260 --> 00:20:12.270 and clarity? Are you being your best self? Are you producing your own 283 00:20:12.270 --> 00:20:15.290 flourishing through your communication? So I just want to leave you with this 284 00:20:15.290 --> 00:20:15.950 idea. 285 00:20:17.040 --> 00:20:22.150 You're gonna hit, send seen and often because we do it all the time. But I 286 00:20:22.150 --> 00:20:27.230 want you to think the next time you're about to hit send Would it be better if 287 00:20:27.230 --> 00:20:28.270 I said it in person? 288 00:20:29.490 --> 00:20:44.050 I don't know. Thank you. Today's episode is sponsored by LinkedIn. Did 289 00:20:44.050 --> 00:20:47.930 you know over 62 million decision makers are on LinkedIn? It's the reason 290 00:20:47.930 --> 00:20:52.120 why I and a ton of other B two B marketers spend hours marketing on 291 00:20:52.120 --> 00:20:56.570 LinkedIn every week. In fact, recently, I just pulled a report that informed 292 00:20:56.580 --> 00:21:01.170 our team at Sweet Fish that Lincoln had produced three times the amount of new 293 00:21:01.170 --> 00:21:05.600 customers in the last 90 days. Then the next lead source three times. Guys. It 294 00:21:05.600 --> 00:21:10.840 was a lot. There is not a better platform to research your key accounts, 295 00:21:10.850 --> 00:21:14.900 find the exact people you want to connect with and actually engage them 296 00:21:14.910 --> 00:21:20.780 in a variety of meaningful ways. Do business where business is done. Get a 297 00:21:20.780 --> 00:21:25.430 $100 advertising credit toward your first Lincoln campaign. Visit linkedin 298 00:21:25.430 --> 00:21:33.600 dot com slash GDP growth. Linkedin dot com slash BBB growth. Thanks so much 299 00:21:33.600 --> 00:21:37.410 for listening. I hope you enjoyed that one. If you want to see the actual 300 00:21:37.410 --> 00:21:41.810 video recording or if you want to learn how that presentation was produced, 301 00:21:41.810 --> 00:21:45.850 some of the considerations challenges choices that were made along the way. 302 00:21:45.860 --> 00:21:52.730 Visit bomb bomb dot com slash podcast. That's B O M b b o m b dot com slash 303 00:21:52.730 --> 00:21:58.580 podcast Look for Episode 1 24 TX will be in the title, and there you can 304 00:21:58.580 --> 00:22:02.430 browse and check out other episodes of the customer experience podcast, 305 00:22:02.440 --> 00:22:06.860 including one where the Ted brand did come up. If you're a regular listener, 306 00:22:07.040 --> 00:22:10.960 you know that I always give each guest the chance to give a nod or a shout out 307 00:22:10.970 --> 00:22:14.320 or a mention to a company or a brand that delivers for her or him as a 308 00:22:14.320 --> 00:22:19.200 customer and back on Episode 59 with Tyler Monkey, The Pirate's Guide to 309 00:22:19.200 --> 00:22:24.790 Sales learn and steal from the best. He gave a nod to the Ted brand again. You 310 00:22:24.790 --> 00:22:28.830 can find all that at bom bom dot com slash podcast. And if you really 311 00:22:28.830 --> 00:22:33.730 appreciate the message in this Ted X talk here on this episode, check out. 312 00:22:33.730 --> 00:22:37.230 Re humanize your business. You can learn more by searching. Re humanize 313 00:22:37.230 --> 00:22:41.950 your business at Amazon or wherever you prefer to buy books or by visiting bomb 314 00:22:41.950 --> 00:22:48.870 bomb dot com slash book B o m b b o m b dot com slash book. My name is Ethan 315 00:22:48.870 --> 00:22:53.020 Butte. Thanks again for listening to the C X series on B two b growth and to 316 00:22:53.020 --> 00:22:55.460 the customer experience. Podcast 317 00:22:57.340 --> 00:23:01.270 is your buyer at BBB Marketer? If so, you should think about sponsoring this 318 00:23:01.270 --> 00:23:06.210 podcast. BDB Growth gets downloaded over 130,000 times each month, and our 319 00:23:06.210 --> 00:23:10.040 listeners are marketing decision makers. If it sounds interesting, send Logan 320 00:23:10.040 --> 00:23:14.270 and email Logan at sweet Fish media dot com. Mhm mhm